Just last week, the editor for my upcoming new book, The Horse Cure, asked me in one of her comments to define personal power. Her concern was how “personal power” has been a “self-help” jargon that is thrown around a lot, with no one really knowing what it is and how to get it. My first thought when I saw her question was, “Wow, okay Rebecca, nothing like going straight for the million-dollar question…” As I was replying and trying to find a simple sentence to define one of the MAIN core concepts that is a requirement for healing and believing in your own ability to change, I have to admit I felt a sense of overwhelm and frustration because I couldn’t come up with a simple reply.
So, I did what anyone does today when you hit a wall; I googled it! I ran across a short educational video sent out by ACEP (Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology) by David Gruder, Ph.D., DCEP that summed up so much of what we strive to help bring into our client sessions. He described perfectly what I work to embody in myself through his video entitled, “Upgrade Your Clients’ Ethical Personal Power Skills”.
In this video, David Gruder shares his definition of what he calls “ethical personal power: acting in ways that are masterful and that honor my well-being AND up-lift others.”
I LOVE IT! I love it because this is what we teach to our clients as they are working through healing via our Equine Partnered Psychotherapy and/or Coaching TM sessions. In building relationships with the horses, our clients have a choice to make. Do they want to build this relationship based on trust, respect, and willingness for all (themselves and the horse)? Or do they want to build this relationship based on dominance and control, getting a “yes” to all their needs and requests no matter what the cost?
Unfortunately, the only relationship most of our clients have ever known to the word “power” is one of force, coercion, competition, scarcity, and compromise where they felt like they were still “losing.” It is not surprising that for them, learning how to embrace personal power is a hard and foreign concept. On the other hand, some learn to cope with the concept of “power” by avoiding it altogether and being almost repelled by anything that resembles stepping into personal power. Instead, what they do is go straight into compliance mode and give their power over to anyone. However, some adapt to a different coping strategy of going straight into dominance and force in order to avoid feeling the pain that is caused by other people misusing power over them. Lastly, there are some who dance back and forth between these extremes.
In our approach at Unbridled Change, we walk step-by step through the same concepts that David Gruder discusses under his 3-step system. Here are the things required to create the foundation for being in your ethical personal power:
Give yourself a gift today and take 19 minutes to explore the concept of personal power with David Gruder. It will be worth it!☺ He breaks down these three areas–the blocks, confusions, and misconceptions of their true meaning in a quick way that is easy to understand. I hope you enjoy this resource as it helps you in working with your own clients, yourself, and/or your horses!
Sending light and love on your journey — Michelle