People have told me to write a book for years. My response was always to laugh it off and reply, “What? Me an author? – no way!” As fate would have it and with the support of my awesome team, the first book is finally off to the publishers. They just released their book catalog for 2018-2019 with MY book in it! I’m super excited to announce a project that has been 27 years in the making, The Horse Cure, will be coming out in May 2019 published by Trafalgar Square Books, or better know as the horse and riders books. Click here for the new catalog
We will be sharing more about the book and the stories that are in it as we grow closer to release date. In this blog post I’d like to share a little about the experience I had while writing this book.
Confronting Fear and Self-Doubt
I might have been laughing when I responded joking to people when they suggested I write. However, the feelings behind that laugh were much different. I felt paralyzed by self-doubt, worry, fears of being humiliated, and a crushing limiting belief of self judgment around not being able to truly share the amazing work that Unbridled Change does. I just didn’t believe that I had “what it takes” to be an author. I love to write and journal. I think of myself as more a scribe and storyteller than an “author”. I wanted some guidance and support so I went to my friend and colleague who was a four time published author, AJ Morey, and asked her for some advice on how to get a book published. Little did we know that a simple phone conversation would turn into a project that would grow into an awesome partnership.
As AJ and I chatted, I shared my passion and dream for the “books”. My goal was to share, through stories, the power that partnering with a horse for human healing could bring to the table. AJ loved the idea and offered to help support me through the process. I also wanted pictures to be apart of the book to help create a full sensory experience for the reader to convey the emotions and felt senses that come from working with the horses. AJ turned out to not only be the photographer of all the pictures in the book, but she can now add book coach to her extensive resume! I had no idea the roller-coaster of emotions and purging of limiting beliefs that writing this book would bring to my doorstep.
Over the past 2 years, I have started and stopped writing this book. Many times I just wanted to abandon the project and sweep it under the rug. Luckily, AJ and Cami (the therapist and who I consider my other half at Unbridled Change), wouldn’t let me! They listened to and supported me as I wrestled with issues of worthiness, pride, shame, perfectionism…ugh the list of blocks that popped up seemed way too long and never ending. Each time I broke through one block, I would kick it into gear and start writing again. Then, like clock work, another would pop up to take its place.
In the end, it was my desire to get the message out to the world that helped me overcome my fears. As I was facing down the very real possibility of not being here anymore due to cancer, I didn’t want my life’s experiences of what horses taught me to die with me. Writing this book and sharing what I believe is the power of horses in the human healing field gave me another purpose to heal the cancer that was trying to take over my whole body. When I was too sick to work, I could write. I took refuge in capturing the stories of powerful moments of connection that a horse had with a client. I found healing energy and joy in the idea that we could shine a light on what every partnership I have had with horses taught me about healing the pieces of me that I thought were “broken” or “damaged”.
In the end, The Horse Cure, helped me cure myself of the limiting beliefs and fears that were holding my life hostage and keeping me from stepping into my power. The word “cure” might seem like an overstatement, but we have found that the meaning of “cure” is a means or method of relieving anything that is troublesome or detrimental. This process of writing gave me the gift of excavating the hidden fears I had been covering up and ignoring. My cure ended up being – to believe in myself, to learn how to accept help and support, to be okay with not being perfect, to accept that I don’t have to have all the answers, and perhaps the biggest one; to trust myself, my team, and the universe.